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: Number 9 of the "What Rebecca Thinks Series" for Red's latest dating tips.
Valley Inn, the movie about a NJ girl's adventures in a small dusty town in Arkansas, is gathering momentum using Indiegogo. Take part in the making of this funny, heart-warming movie, click below and help them meet their goal!
Watch Video to see some of the starts from Valley Inn!!
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I went down to MoMA today to see one of my favorite people slumber peacefully in a glass box. The performance art piece (titled The Maybe), featuring Tilda Swinton as the sleeper, is thought-provoking -- though maybe not in the way it one might expect.
The Maybe has become popular primarily through word of mouth from those who happened upon the exhibit by chance, then tweeted or blogged about it. And now, it's all over Twitter (check out #themaybe or #MoMA). Although people have various reactions to Tilda sleeping in public -- some are embarrassed for her, some are impressed, while others are just plain puzzled by the whole idea -- everyone seems to have something to say about the exhibition.
Interestingly, there has been no published schedule posted, no artist's statement or museum statement made, and no public profile or images issued regarding this piece.
Maybe that's why it's called The Maybe . . . because no one knows for sure when Tilda will be preforming her sleeping beauty act at MoMA until the day of the actual performance. This random unscheduled schedule keeps everyone on their toes, and makes for an intriguing publicity choice. I like that!
If you think about it, The Maybe is a
brilliant name for a piece that may or may not be available for viewing on any given
day -- maybe Tilda will be at MoMA tomorrow, maybe not.
However, this is not the first time this work has been seen. The first installation was held in 1995 at The Serpentine Gallery in London where it attracted 22,000 visitors and received a Turner Prize nomination. Apparently, Tilda's been trying to get The Maybe at the MoMA since 2005, and now it's finally here . . . or is it? Well, today it was, anyway.
For me, the piece is fascinating in many ways. First, I like that it gives fans a unique way to be closer to a Star then they would be in most other situations, while it provides Tilda with a certain amount of protection and separation with the glass box. And everyone was so respectful as the watched her doze.
Still, sleeping is our most vulnerable state as humans. We are not conscious of our surroundings and, therefore, we are not on guard . . . this is why we don't sleep when we are afraid or anxious. So I think it takes a tremendous amount of trust and confidence (in yourself, others and the world around you) to allow oneself to be this vulnerable in public. Perhaps there is also something about "sleeping in glass houses and not throwing stones" that brings out Tilda's very human side through this piece.
On a visceral level, I found The Maybe provocative. The mattress in the box is not long enough for Tilda to stretch out, there are no air-holes drilled into the glass, and the pillow doesn't look soft or comfortable. These things made me wonder what it would be like to be inside such a box all day long. I found myself cringing with discomfort as I thought more about it.
I wondered: Does it get stuffy in there? Would I feel stifled by the lack of air movement? Would I feel claustrophobic in the limited space where I could hardly move? Would I stay up all night the night before just so I'd be able to sleep through a seven hour performance without opening my eyes, or getting up for the bathroom? Would I be exceptionally conscious of how much I drank before I went inside the box to avoid having a full bladder when I was trapped inside? Or would I wear a diaper for the sake of art? Then I thought . . . perhaps it would be easier if i took a downer before I performed the sleeping act . . . or would that be cheating?
I'm not sure these are the thought-provoking or inspirational ideas that were intended by this art form, but I did overhear several other viewers discussing these issues as they watched Tilda sleep. It's hard to watch someone else without imaging yourself in their shoes. Perhaps that is one of the gifts of seeing this unusual work of art -- weather intended or not, this seems like a good thing to walk away with.
So I'm wishing sweet dreams to all those sleepers out there. Please, let your imaginations carry you to beautiful art . . . especially you my friend, Tilda. May you have much success, and rest, with this work . . . The Maybe!
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Valley Inn: The story of a big city Yankee who loses herself, and the small southern town that finds her.
More than just a romantic comedy, Valley Inn is a funny yet heartfelt tale about how a New Jersey girl learns about life and love in the most unlikely of places -- smack in the middle of nowhere! Emily Mason has a plan to make money over her summer-break from college by making door-to-door book sales. But when her summer job lands her in a dusty, dying, small southern town, she finds herself living in an unfamiliar world of homemade pies, rodeos, and southern hospitality. Forging ahead with her plan to sell books while her friendships with the local residents (and one young man in particular) continue to grow, Emily discovers what is most valuable in life at the Valley Inn Cafe.
I believe that Valley Inn is well worth making, but like most projects that are not funded by a major studio, this movie needs money to start shooting and you can help.
If you always wanted to be a part of making movie magic, now's your chance. Valley Inn has moved from Kickstarter to Indiegogo. If you go to the Valley Inn Indiegoo page now, you can help get this wonderful story from script to screen and can change your life.
Weather or not you're an actor but you've always wanted to be in a movie, this is the right opportunity for you. Just donate the amount indicated on the right column of the Valley InnIndiegogo Page to get a featured role or a speaking part in the movie.
If you always dreamed of being a movie producer, it's easy to get a producers credit with the right donation.
Even the small donations have rewards and special gifts like: t-shirts, downloads, tickets to exclusive events, etc.
Any a donation in any amount can make a world of difference for the success of Valley Inn while giving you the satisfaction of contributing to keeping the art of making independent films alive.
If, however, you just want to support Valley Inn become a movie with a small donation. Do it! Every dollar counts. Seriously!
Also, go to Valley Inn on Facebook and like it!
Here's the next installment of "What Rebecca Thinks. . . " (insights in 30 seconds) for you dating edification and fun!
Watch this video: Number 8 of the "What Rebecca Thinks Series" to get Red's latest dating tips.
For some fun, fill out Red's "Pole" below. Learn about yourself and how you really feel about your special someone by picking the option or options that fits you. Then find out what Red thinks of your answers...
See below for Red's analysis of your pole!
RED'S ANSWERS
If you picked:
Change my underwear: You have a chemical connection with your special someone that cannot be undone.
Hit a wall: You feel that your special someone has changed the way you see the world.
Hug my pillow: You are soft hearted when it comes to your special someone and easily manipulated by him/her.
Smile to myself: You secretly wish you were your special someone and want to take him/her over like an alien invasion.
Kiss the reflection in the mirror: Your special someone brings out the best in you.
More than one answer: If you picked more than one answer you have many special someones, yet only one love of your life (just like me!) ....good luck with that!
For more Red's "Poles" click HERE
kisses... Red
Here is the second part of my two part series on extramarital affairs. If you read my blog at all, you know that I have unconventional views on this topic. It is of great interest to me. I've even written a novel, currently titled INAPPROPRIATELY YOURS, about what it's like to be the woman a man loves outside of his marriage.
Most of my previous posts on affairs were lessons or tips for women involved in non-committal flings married men. This post, however, explores a different kind of affair: The true love affair, which is based on faith in the deep connection between the mistress and the man that is grounded in love. I believe that people don't choose who they fall in love with, or when it happens. And when it happens under these circumstances, it takes a certain kind of woman to be that woman behind the man behind the marriage . . . the Other Woman. She is where the magic of a love affair begin!
With the strength of the Other Woman behind him, a married man can experience a love that is like unlike any other. True love is not tied to a marriage, but given freely. True love comes without demands. True love sometimes only lasts for a moment, but that moment lasts a lifetime. With no safety net of an obligation enforced by an external contract, the mistress fully engages in a romance with another woman's husband (under impossible circumstances) while reaping only his love without anything tangible or solid to show for it. This kind of love is the gift of the Other Woman, and it can make a man more complete than a man who never strays at all.
But how does a woman manage being the one who has given up finding a husband of her own in order to have the love of a man who is married to another? First, it requires a considerable amount of trust and understanding on her part. Since their affair is conducted in secret, she will most likely never be acknowledged as special by her married lover in public. Unlike his wife, she has no legal claim on her man, or anything that would keep her securely in his life -- especially if there are children involved in his marriage. To live with this, it takes more patience, tolerance and resolve than most people can imagine.
Armed with the knowledge that a true love affair does not require a piece of paper to make it lasting and real, a married man's lover (in the truest sense of the word) appreciates her man's vulnerability. She keeps their connection tenderly safe in her heart without uses the power inherrent in her position to control his choices. To do this, she must trust his invested in her even when it is not overtly evident.
With a unique understanding of the pressures a man faces in his marriage, the Other Woman must accept the reality that she will only have her man when he can manage it. She must have unwavering self-confidence because there will be times, many times, when she is treated as an afterthought in his life. His days may be filled with child-rearing obligations or other commitments to his family. Constantly faced the possibility of that she will be thrown aside if/when her love becomes too wary of the risks (a circumstance that most wives would find intolerable), the Other Woman must be emotional strong. This is what makes a true love affair work.
Every mistress knows that in reality since she is his secret, she actually holds the power in this situation. Ironically, this power is often a great burden for her, causing her to feel quite the opposite. To get through this, she must remain steadfast in her faith in their relationship, even when she feels powerless. Though it's not an easy, women are more accustom to experiencing powerlessness than men, and women are much less likely to act powerfully as a knee-jerk reaction to the state of things. Men, on the other hand, are not. And some men may not trust a woman's strength to remain powerless in love.
Any married man in an affair knows that the nature of their secret gives her power over him. Men don't like to feel powerless. Therefore, it is essential that the Other Woman knows and guards against the risk that this dynamic creates -- a risk that is far more damaging to their affair than that of being found out -- namely, the risk that her lover distrusts her for the power she has, fearing that she will use it against him. His fear comes from not trusting that her love for him is stronger than any sense of injustice related to the situation. Any woman in love with a married man knows that using her power against the one man she loves is not what being the Other Woman is about...it's about using her love to celebrated him without harming him, even when he cannot (or will not) celebrate her.
It's never simple to be the person a man falls for outside his marriage, but it's even harder when he becomes driven by his fears. And harder still when he is unable to take emotional responsibility for his feelings of love. Men in general seem far better at disregarding their feelings than women. This fact, coupled with a married man's concern that his lover has the power to destroy everything he has built up in his life with his family, is probably the biggest obstacle a couple faces in their affair. Sometimes these factors drive the man to recapture his sense of power by becoming distant, or angry, with the Other Woman because he unconscious blames her for his vulnerability.
It is at these times that the Other Woman must be careful not to test his love. She needs to know that sometimes he's just too vulnerable to lean on her for emotional strength. If he becomes too scared -- he may deny the depth of his connection to her, rationalizing the affair as unfounded by telling himself that it was merely a sexual thing. Or worse yet, he may allow the affair begin and then backs away once he had found love; leaving his mistress (the woman who has filled his life with comfort, affection and joy) behind rather than embrace the rich experience of being loved without boundaries. Ultimately, he may dismiss his lover all together to avoid acknowledging his feelings for her.
This is heartbreaking for both parties, and when this happens the mistress is often powerless to change the course of things without destroying the love that brought them together in the first place. But any woman who truly loves, knows that love isn't about power. And a mistress rarely exploits her power over her lover -- even when/if it ends. How much power is there in making someone you love suffer for loving you?
What it all boils down to for the Other Woman is that in order to thrive in this kind of relationship she must find satisfaction in his love without all the trimmings. She must see him clearly for who he is without judging his character based on his marital status, his fears, or his seeming disregard for her. If she does this AND if he lets her, she can share her strength with him, giving him the love he needs to have a wonderful life of magic as well as a healthy marriage to another.
Unfortunately, more often than not the Other Woman doesn't get the man in the end. Some people may think this is appropriate or that she has it coming. I personally think this is a limited view of true love. However, even if she "gets what she's due" whatever that may be (i.e. a long term love, a relationship that ends in heartbreak, or loving another only for a moment), the Other Woman will always have unanswered questions about their relationship. But I believe that every question in love, has only one answer: Love is the greatest gift anyone can give to another, even if that other is already married to someone else.
There is little discussion on this issue. I plan to change that.
Soon you’ll be able to read a story of one such woman, written by me. In the meantime, I’ll just keep blogging on it, and challenging the restriction of a world that doesn’t often recognize the value of truth if it gets in the way of tradition...stay tuned for more fun blogs on relationships, romance, marriage, love and affairs.
Dear Valentines (all of you who read and love my blog):
I enjoy Valentine's Day! It's a magical time . . . and romantical too, I guess.
It is rare that I have a Valentine of my very own, but that doesn't stop me from taking this special day to celebrating love, romance and chocolate! Though I've given up on most of these treasures as a daily part of my life, today I got a little of each -- without even trying!
And that's why I love V-Day, and all of you!
Here's hoping your Valentine's Day is as sweet as the chocolate I'm eating!
Chocolate kisses . . .
Red
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