red's world

Red Says: quirky quotable (#64)

 "The meaning of life is what we make it."

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Red Skates

Sometimes when the ice is just right and I get the urge, I skate.

            Photo Credit: Eric Lebowitz

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Salt This! New York Health Department: An Open Response

To Whom It May Concern:

I'm on a salt crusade and anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome. If you don't like salt, or want it banished from your plate, that's your choice. But you have to agree that we all have the right to eat what and how we want. It's like the first amendment right to freedom of speech - only it's about freedom to eat.

But New York City Heath Department is now trying to take that right away by trying to control how much salt we eat -- whether we are eating out at restaurants or at home. Who are these people? Why the need to exercise supremacy over others? Tell me...what happened to freedom of choice in this country? It's getting more and more difficult to live decadently and I live in the City of decadence (well, one of them).

The New York City Health Department is asking the food industry to voluntarily lower salt in their products over the next five years. Their goal is to decrease salt level by 25% - TWENTY FIVE Percent! Ouch! And they have this inane idea that if they decrease it slowly over time, people's palates will adjust, get used to the lack of flavor, and won't notice that their food doesn't taste good anymore. That's ridiculous! What do they take us for - idiots? (That's a rhetorical question... of course they do and, unfortunately, many of us are.)

We've been here before:

Seriously, the idea is that it's somehow more healthy to eat less salt? People will believe anything! Don't they know that decades ago they were telling people not to eat so much pepper? That pepper produces hardening of the arteries and liver damage - In fact, it's six times as active as gin in producing cirrhosis of the liver. But there is no way we're going back to the days of prohibition. So, gin and pepper stay! 

It's not trendy to reduce pepper (or gin) in people's diet, not anymore. Now, it's much more popular to focus on salt as the evil. But does it really seem right to blame death and destruction on a natural substance like salt? Isn't it worse to put synthetic things in our system? Not according to the Health Department. What arrogance to think that we can do better than nature at providing good preservatives and flavor enhancers!

Many people buy into the idea that salt causes high blood pressure, heart problems or whatever the current rhetoric is; fear tactics that have little base in reality. What they consider healthy eating is, incidentally, not necessarily accurate. The truth is we need salt to live. Creating a salt deficiency is unsafe. But the Health Department thinks we're so stupid that we will believe anything they claim and, with this, they attempt to "handle" us.

They claim that people get 80% of their salt intake from the way the food is cooked or packaged not from table salt...well, they've never sat at a table where I'm eating. I grew up on processed food and have used (what would be considered by their standards to be excessive amounts of) table salt on that food - all my life...and guess what? I have LOW blood pressure. If I ate less salt, my blood would simply stop pumping and that would be a tragedy. I could die. So stop the silliness and let us eat food we like and need. Let us determine what's healthy for our own bodies. And, quite honestly, if it does kills us - which it won't - isn't that our choice? I'd rather die of salty food than a flavorless life.

Oh, and then, one of the worst arguments comes from Dr.Thomas Farley (New York City Health Commissioner) who said, “Consumers can always add salt to food, but they can’t take it out,” True, you can always add salt - and I do. But has he ever tasted food that was not prepared with enough salt and then tried to add enough salt to it after preparation? It never works right - the food always just tastes bland or weird. You try this and you'll see what I'm talking about.

And think of the cost to the food industry to implement such a feat...taste testing and recipe changing takes time and money. Who will bare the cost of this? Us - the consumer! We will have to pay more for food that is not delicious.

I know some people who have been wooed by the Health Department's claims and are trying to lower their salt intake. These people will not be impacted by this "out with the sodium" incentive.

Again, my argument is:

We should have choice - about lifestyle, about beliefs and about food!

People can currently buy less-salty packaged food goods and low-sodium menu items if they choose to now. So why force all of us to do that? I mean, I'm not going to make you eat your vegetables, and I certainly won't eat them. But I will, absolutely, fight for your right to eat them, no matter what anyone else thinks!

What's a sodium deficient girl, like me, to do?
...Start a salt crusade! Join me in maintaining our right to be salty.

Click here to go to our facebook SOS (Save Our Salt) group - let's change the world

Kisses,
Red

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Never Settle

No matter what the situation or circumstances in life, most of us are taught to compromise in order to get what we want (or what we are told we can have). We’re encouraged to be satisfied with the way things are. If we not, we’re labeled as ungrateful or entitled. We're seen as ‘expecting too much.’ We believe that ‘good enough’ is the best we can expect; we make due, because we think that to want more is unrealistic.

I do not think that wanting more is unrealistic, but I do believe that we often convince ourselves that it is. 

When we believe that we shouldn't expect too much, we protect ourselves from disappointment by lowering our expectations. So, we settle for things that are not completely fulfilling. We tell ourselves that anything more - is impossible. Thus, generating a life of mediocrity. By not allowing ourselves to expect more, we relegate ourselves to a life in which ‘having it all’ cannot happen. 

What we expect, is what we get. We stay safe by closing ourselves off to a better option because we’re afraid it's not available to us or that it may not exist at all; or that the path to get to it is, well - too wrought with strife or too difficult or too - whatever...unreachable. 

I don’t believe that living life halfway is what life is about. For me, that is not enough.

It’s not that I’ve never lived by the rules, or believed that I’m asking too much to want more. It's not that I've never been afraid to hope because I might face disappointment or pain. We all get drawn in to this mode of thinking at times. But I found that putting up with things that are ‘good’, but not ‘good enough’, is not a life I'm interested in living. I can have something more -- something better. So, I refuse to accept anything less than the possibility of everything.

I’ve risked everything in my life to live beyond the status quo… and I have no regrets.

I don't settle in my aspirations, or my relationships - because I'd rather have a life full of failure and loneliness, than a life without hopes and dreams. I may not get everything, but I can never complain that I did not live a life filled with rich experience that moved me, challenged me and enriched me.

By not settling, I’ve made room for opportunities I didn't even know were there and created a life that is beyond anything I could ever have imagined.

Open yourself up to things you never thought possible, things that others may call pipe-dreams, and you will be amazed. There are no guarantees that you will get everything. But I can absolutely guarantee that if you settle, you'll never know the endless possibilities of a life without limits. 

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Red Says: quirky quotable (#63)

"Don't recreate from your memories, always imagine a new place!"

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Red's 2009 Year in Review

Well, it's New Year's Eve - that day of the year that we all review what we've done, learned, accomplished in the past year. And when we celebrate the new. It's a time of reflection and a time to set goals for the upcoming year. 

And as I review, I've become abundantly aware that I have so many posts that I wrote in 2009 which I never published, for reasons that were primarily selfish...I wasn't ready to share these lessons or I was afraid that they would be taken out of context and thus, misunderstood. But, since I'm not one to be ruled by my fears or be overly concerned when others think of me; and although I know that some will use what I write to make judgments -- sometimes not-so-nice judgments and sometimes inaccurate judgments about me -- one of my Resolutions for 2010 is to publish these bits of wisdom. Important lessons for limitless living that I learned through the most magical and tragic year that I've been privileged to live through so far. So, even though 2009 is coming to an end, the lessons of this past year are still alive and well (as are all the possibilities that I imagined). These will continue to influence me and (perhaps) you too. So there is something amazing from this past year that created something to look forward to in 2010 -- great posts!

But for today...I'm simply going to list some of the wonders of this past year and when I'm done with that I'll list my hopes for the future.

Red's 2009 Highlights 

1. True love exists.
2. Magic is real.
3. Loneliness hurts.
4. Creativity is grounding.
5. Vulnerability is scary.
6. Family is good.
7. People love even when it doesn't make sense.
8. Fear makes us do irrational things.
9. Death is hard.
10. Ignoring the truth doesn't make it false.
11. Sex can be funny.
12. Clever can be intimidating.
13. Openness creates endless possibilities.
14. Singing, is always a good thing to do.
15. Forgetting about something is not the same as forgetting. 
16. Life is a paradox 
17. It sucks to live with regret  
18. The impossible is possible 
19. Giving my heart away is for keeps. I can't get it back. 
20. Being loved and cherished in return, changes how the world looks 
21. There are some things that words cannot express

I've learned that I know so much more than I thought I knew and I know so much less than I knew I thought. 

As for 2010

1. I will never settle 
2. I will not pretend
3. I will know the difference between love, sex and intimacy
4. I will still believe that anything is possible and I can have everything
5. I will be open
6. I will wait
7. I will create
8. I will wear more mini-skirts
9. I will cry
10. I will laugh
11. I will stay awake when I want to sleep
12. I will play hard 
13. I will grow my red hair
14. I will let my scars be part of me 
15. I will have fun 
16. I will let life take me where ever it does, without fear or regret. 
17. I will sing
18. I will struggle with difficulties in a new way 
19. I will fight for what's right
20. I will never give up 
21. And I will keep believing in love; a love that changes everything   

And above all, I will continue to be fearless.

Those who impacted me the most this past year, may never see this post. But if you do (where ever you may be), know you are always with me, in my heart. Know that you have made an impact that has shaken me to the core. And I'm grateful.

May the New Year bring New Possibilities!

Sexy Christmas: T'was The Night Before seX-Mas

Never being traditional, and always being naughty (in such a nice way), here's my new take on an old X-mas poem: T'was the night before seX-mas...
                                   well, just play it and you'll see!

RSS Readers go here to view movie

Merry seX-mas!

Kisses,

 Red

I'm not finished yet...

Have you ever been in the middle of the most amazing relationship and become so uncertain that you reacted rashly? And suddenly it seems to have ended, but you don't feel that it's over because you still have such strong feelings, and you still have so much more to say, and you are certain in your belief that you can work through it together?

I have, and it sucks. It suck especially because I hate leaving things unsaid; things that I've learned as a result of pushing myself to move through the difficult times that followed to get to the other side; it sucks because I so desperately want to share what I've come to with the person I learned it with...only now, it's become awkward.

What do you do when, after a feeling so utterly comfortable and safe and trusting with another, he becomes uneasy about talking...and you don't even know what that means? And he doesn't return your calls to explain. Yet, the last time you spoke the two of you agreed to talk again after some time had passed...and it has. I don't have the answers, but I can tell you what I've done and what I try to do.

As we all do, the first thing I try is to figure it out. I try to find a reason for the shift which, incidentally, is impossible to do alone - when the other person involved is not talking. This is the rationalizing that we do to make things more palatable when we are dealing with loss...we try to make sense out of a situation that doesn't fit with the past way of being with another. We do it when someone dies, or someone disappears, or when we feel betrayed or confused about the other person's choices that involve us.

But when you try to make yourself feel better by answering questions in your head that the other person needs to answer for you, it's just an exercise; it doesn't really resolve anything. It's kinda like running in circles. You may not get anywhere, but you feel like you've had a good workout.

If you try to to process these feeling with others who are outside the situation, or try to explain it to anyone else, they don't exactly get it. Instead, they try to comfort you by saying, "You deserve better" or "It wasn't meant to be" or "It's for the best" -- but we all know that these pat answers are given to ease the discomfort; they are not real answers and they don't address half the story. These "answers" don't encompass the complexity of any relationship, nor do they provide the relief we desire from the hardship of being estranged from someone important. For me to get relief, there is no reason for me to talk with anyone except the one I need to communicate with.

We need to talk directly before anything can be set straight. I believe we will (because I believe that if I'm feeling unfinished, so is he). But that belief could just be me making things up in my head to make myself feel better. I won't know until we talk, but it does ease the heartache that I feel when I think that I'll never have a chance to share what I so much want to share. And I won't give up, because...

...I'm not finished yet.

Christmas is Cumming...

 

NY State Senate made a BIG mistake with the Gays!

It's been 2 week since the decision and I'm still in shock. On December 2nd, 2009 The New York State Senate rejected a bill to legalize same-sex marriage. This is the same bill that had passed the State Assembly repeatedly and that Governor Paterson was ready to sign it into law. The State Senate voted it down: 38-24. 8 of those who voted against it were Democrats along with all the Republican NYS Senators.

So If I do my math right, if the Democrats had voted with the desires of the people they represent in mind (those that got them into office), by all rights, this bill should have passed. But government doesn't work that way. The idea that those in office represent the voters is an urban myth in our culture. And it hurts because good people have trusted it and have been gravely betrayed. It breaks my heart because this decision only continues the gay community's  struggle for acceptance as fellow humans; a struggle, which at this point in history, should be history.

But, maybe I'm confused...I didn't think I lived in one of the Red States (no disrespect to Red's World). I thought New York was pretty hip to human rights and open minded to issues that may push the traditionalist limits. But I guess I was wrong. New York Senate, you should be ashamed of yourself for acting like a frightened child. We were counting on you to stand up and be a man about this issue and protect the rights of all your state residents...not just the straight ones. 

As you should know by now, I have a great fondness for the Gay community. I feel for them because, like them, I live a lifestyle that is often misunderstood and judged by others. And as a result, I have had to endure scorn, unprovoked ridicule and rejection from people who consider themselves "good people". I've had people express concern about the kind of example I'm setting. I've had people have ask me to change or feel wary about associating with me. Others simply feel sorry for me, assuming that there is something wrong with me; that I'm abnormal or unhappy. And I've definitely been described as sinful. But even with all those who disagree with my way of life and my philosophy - even with all the discomfort I've had to endure for living in a way that is outside accepted social norms - no one has taken my rights away, or said that I cannot marry if I choose. 

We all judge others based on our experience, beliefs or our fears, even I've done it - but I've never felt I had the right to tell others how to live. Discrimination of this kind makes no sense to me. What are people so afraid of? I mean really? Why do they feel that others need to be like them in order to be accepted and appreciated? 

And why do they care who someone is attracted to? I may not be attracted to a certain type of person but I don't feel compelled to belittle someone who is. Why would anyone feel compelled to control who marries who? No one would tell a man and woman they couldn't marry, even if we can see that it's not the best pairing. So why do people feel that they have the right to make that decision for gays? Why is this such a charged issue? Who are we in this country that we feel that we have the right to disallow people that love one another from getting legally married? What kind of arrogance is driving this crusade?

Laws are made to protect people and their rights. We Americans pride ourselves in being able to live in a country where we are able to pursue happiness; where we are free to express who we are in a nation that is safe. Gays marrying doesn't harm anyone and it provides happiness to those who want to marry a member of the same sex. So why would is that right not afforded to 10% of our population? 

The only thing I can figure out is that people are desperately afraid of those that are different. I know that's part of why I'm often disrespected and not accepted. We need to stop the fear and move forward. We need to act like we are human beings, and stop the judgement. We need to be what we claim we are: The home of the free.