Got too much ASS?

Why do men get so attached when you have sex with them?

I call this ASS  (Attachment Sex Syndrome).

ASS is a condition in which people (specifically referring here to the male gender), feel a need to make sexual relations a heart-warming experience.  Such men attach meaning to hook-ups in an attempt to create some emotional significance to the "connection" (which is often purely physical). Men suffering from this disorder are not the ones you want to have a one-night stand with ladies, they cannot simply get laid for fun.

They suffer from Attachment Sex Syndrome.

I believe that sex is important, but not necessarily meaningful. True, sex and attachment can go hand-in-hand -- but they often don't. Believe me, those that expect that sex means "we're connected on a soul level," will often be sourly disappointed. Plus, they're often annoying to their partner who's just hoping for a good, carefree time.

Let's face it, too much ASS can get in the way. Especially when we just want to go out and enjoy a little lovin' without all the mess of a "meaningful connection." 

The best cure for an ASS problem: Don't make more of sex than sex.

And remember. . . pleasure is good, even without ASS.

Comments

[David Reich]

I agree with what you say, except women can get ASS too. In fact, I would guess that ASS is more common with women than men, since women are (generally) more emotional and generally do connect sex with some sort of attachment. Not that men don't, but it's been portrayed and in many ways accepted as a "guy thing" to seek meaningless sex or just sex for pleasure. Yes?

[Red]

Dear David:
I wouldn't say ASS more common in women, just more promoted.
During my research, I've found that men are raised to not show their ASS, when in reality they secretly have a great deal of ASS.
I believe that ASS in men is often overlooked, thus I felt it was important to focus on the male ASS to break the myth that meaningless sex is a “guy thing.” It’s really just "a thing" which historically – in this country anyway – guys have claimed as their own. I think they are in for a great surprise!
Thanks for your thoughts.
Kisses,
R

[David Reich]

I think you're right on this.

[MAS]

Rebecca,
You and I have a common friend, if you spell his name forwards and backwards it is spelled the same. Anyhow I do not suffer from ASS. It is just a thing! So, yes to much ASS can get in the way!

Nothing but Sweet Nectar!

Ricomas12 formerly know as Querico12

You can also write ricomas12@aol.com if you want to solve who the common friend is.

Adios!

[liberal, yet analytical]

hmm... well, I'm a bi male, but I've never had a relationship with a guy. so i understand what your talking about entirely. the guys I've been with have been attached to me, but if anything i think that makes the sex better cause they beg for you ;].... till they turn into nutjobs and stalk you...

but anyway, the women I've been with have seemed to be the same way but in a different way, depending on who they are. some women, like you as i take from your articals, can have sex a la carte, and others act as if they have an empty feeling afterwards which they have a desire to fill. so it isn't attachment sexually, rather than attachment personally. if that makes sense. kinda typin fast ^_^;

it seems to me that men generally have a directly emotional connection to sex, I know I do (but unlike most neanderthals, I have something called self control), a handful of times I try to have sex with a woman, if there's little or no emotional connection I can't even get it up simply because i feel nothing emotionally for the woman(and don't bother calling me gay because women like you make my jaw drop);] so to a man, i believe if anything a lil ASS, rather, emotional attraction, is necessary for really enjoying sex. unless the guy is sexist and believes that women are tools. blah.

your articles are very enjoyable.

[Red]

Dear Liberal, yet Analytical:
I don't disagree. I do think that emotional connection is part of sex but that's different than the attachment I'm talking about here, where a man thinks you're suddenly in a significant, on going relationship with him just 'cuz you/he got off.
And ASS is not necessarily a bad thing, if you both have it for each other.
But if you're just looking for a hookup or a good time...ASS makes it hard (and not in the good way.)
I'm glad you enjoy my articles, I enjoy writing them and love sharing my "not so traditional" view of the world.
Keep reading!

kisses,
Red