My FATAL ATTRACTION Reaction

I watched FATAL ATTRACTION last night and it made me wonder… Have things really changed that much from the late 80’s?

Granted, the character Glenn Close plays is an obsessive woman with Borderline Personality Disorder  (which incidentally is a disorder know for severe boundary issues – or more to the point – an acute lack of boundaries). But that's not what I'm talking about here.

Seriously, do women really want a man that is unavailable?

I do! But not in the way Glenn Close’s character does.  For me wanting to be with a married man doesn’t mean you want to get married - it means you don't. Believe me, I know, I’ve slept with my share. And, yes, like her, I do feel love for them. But, unlike her, I don’t believe that love means ownership – nor does it mean that they have to acknowledge feelings of love back to me; or change their lives; or leave their wives.

The truth is, I feel fortunate to have "connections" with experienced, unavailable men who want me. And I never expect that they will stay or that they will take care of me just because they sleep with me. What I do expect is...that they will sleep with me. That’s the beauty of it for me. They service me, but they don't bother me with a commitment that will take away from my other commitments, or other interests. Everybody's happy.

But there are women who, like “Alex Forrest” (Glenn Close’s character), feel insulted when their married boyfriend doesn’t change for her. That’s why the famous line Alex says in response to Dan not calling her back, “I'm not going to be ignored!” is so powerful.

For many women, she says out loud what they want to say. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that most women would go to her extreme to keep his attention. My point is, "the other woman" doesn't generally like being ignored. Ironically, I find I’m usually the one ignoring his calls. Not all the time and not because I’m afraid (or guilt-ridden), but because I’m busy. I only have time for him when I have time. 

The Movie does bring up some interesting questions for me. Like, when Michael Douglas' character tells his wife about the affair (which is a silly thing to do in the first place). Why does his having sex with another woman lead her to wonder about his love for her? Why does she then question the status of her relationship with him? Why do women (stereotypically) think that if he’s sleeping with someone else it’s a reflection on their relationship? Doesn't that seem a bit narcissistic or arrogant?

And the crying child in the background of the confession scene – what’s up with that? Is the movie trying to tell us that affairs ruin everything? That’s ridiculous! But telling your wife might if she's insecure enough to be threatened by your affair. 

FATAL ATTRACTION is a “learn your lesson” movie. The moral of the story is: "Straying is bad for the marriage." But that's Hollywood, not reality. In the real life, straying = staying (married). As a matter of fact, it can be just what’s needed to keep a marriage strong.

Unlike Glenn Close, I don't save marriages by playing a role in a movie that scares men into faithfulness. I save marriages through my uncanny ability to share myself freely with no strings attached. See, my sleeping with him actually keeps their marriages together by my doing for him what she doesn’t; or by providing a “bad" or “risky” thing that makes him feel more like a man and discourages him from leaving her. My affair with him is a favor to her. She gets a husband who won't leave and I get a lover who won't stay. It's a good arrangement all 'round. Everybody's happy.

So, why doesn't his wife thank me - or at least buy me dinner?

Oh yeah...because she doesn't know what I've done for her.

In conclusion, I think women do want unavailable men - or maybe it's just me.

As a side note: I must say, that Glenn Close was quite a beauty in that film (kudos to the hair and makeup). I’ve never seen her look so good. Maybe it was the '80s hair...