« February 2008 | Main | April 2008 »
For your continued growth as a sexual being, to increase your knowledge and to bring you more joy, here are more of my incredible insights on dating and men.
Here's number 4 of the "What Rebecca Thinks" video series (insights in 30-seconds).
RSS Readers go here
To View all "What Rebecca Thinks. . ." posts go HERE
Easter is here and
so is the Easter Bunny!!!
Red Says:
"This Easter,
don't put all your Eggs in one basket...
spread them around...
Red sure does!!"
May you feel joy and wonder this holiday
and do what bunnies do...all year 'round.
Happy Easter!!
Kisses,
Red
PS: For some more Easter fun, Click on the pic, print it out and you'll have a Red Bunny Bookmark (it's the size of a bookmark on purpose -- so you can "bookmark" Red's blog).
With all the excitement around our soon to be ex-Governor of New York State, Eliot Spitzer, Red is gaining the respect of voters by taking on the "hard" issues as she continues her Presidential campaign!
This is a momentous day for advocates of the Red's FUN Campaign! Who knew that Spitzer was a secret supporter of the "If it's fun, do it!" slogan, made famous by Red's platform for presidency.
I believe that we can all learn from Spitzer's example. By coming forward, he's been honest about his support of the working woman. He showed smarts by using the strong structures of our culture (such as the multi-million dollar industry of prostitution), to improve our economy. And his belief in employing professionals for their specialties is a big step forward in improving the quality of life in America.
After all, Spitzer's behavior (despite what he's done in the past) indicates that he believes there is no reason that someone shouldn't be able to sell services that make the customer happy.
Additionally, his employment of Ashley Alexandra Dupre (AKA: "Kristen"), not only helped her pay the bills, but helped to launch her career as a Pop Singer. Choosing Ashley as his companion for the night in DC on February 13th, Spitzer gave her a chance to travel, work "hard" for her money, AND he showed his support of the arts. Now, that's just good fun!!
Push the play button to her her song "What We Want".
Now, thanks to his stepping down in order to step up, we can all look up to Sptizer and respect him for his support of Fun times, improving the New York economy and his love of the arts. How can that be bad?
Just think how wonderful the world would be if we didn't have to hide our love of fun. And instead we celebrated it?
I believe that with Spitzer over-taking the media with such a fun topic is an indication that the tides are turning. Everyone wants to talk about what we like, and the world is talking about Sptizer supporting sex, women and pop music. Hooray!
Remember, if you support fun, write-in Red for Prez!
This Fun message is approved by Red (Outfit approved by Sptizer!)
PS We foresee Senator Larry Craig's Support for the Fun Party (once he steps out of the bathroom).
To view all posts on the RED'S Presidential Campaign CLICK HERE
Click to get your very own RED FOR PRESIDENT button
"... grow up and be more responsible...give up your friends because they are bad influences...talk more about your feelings...like the same things I like...believe the things I believe...be different than you are..."
Why do people feel that they should try to make someone they "love" be something else? Why, especially in a romantic relationship, do people feel that they have the right to ask someone to change? The idea that this is justifiable because they're "together" is astonishing, yet so common. I believe that this is the #1 factor in bad breakups, failed marriages and...stalking.
After much field research, I've come to the conclusion that people who attempt to change others are riddled with self-doubt. Some people just don't know their own value and need external confirmation to prove their self-worth. Most times they feel justified in expecting their partner or potential partner (in a dating situation) to provide this for them. The tactics for this are often manipulative, but I think this comes from the fact that such individuals have blind spots in regards to their insecurities. They honestly don't see themselves as insecure or controlling or manipulative.
If their lack of self-worth is coupled with a lack of self-insight, things are not pretty. Because when their partner doesn't change, insecure people will put their partner down, rather than see their own lack of confidence. They focus on how they've "been wronged" and how the other person is the "bitch" or the "jerk" (there are definitely bitches and jerks in the world - but that's a post for another day).
I believe the reason insecure people feel they're "wronged" in a relationship is 2-fold:
Because insecure individuals are unable to generate sufficient feeling of confidence internally, they often look to others (primarily those close to them) to say or do things that will boost them up.
It's true that we all enjoy getting kudos from someone we care about; we enjoy others enjoying us. But if someone doesn't know their own worth, all the kudos in the world will not make up for that. It seems that the more insecure someone is, the higher the need to confirm their worth through others and the more specific they are about how others "should" be.
It's happened to me before and it's frustrating if I don't recognize what's going on. Let's face it, when I like somebody, I usually want them to like me back. But, in the end, I am who I am and if you don't like that, we're probably not a good match. Simple.
I'm not wrong for not being what someone else wants. And, they are not wrong for wanting someone different. But trying to
make me into someone different will fail miserably, cause frustration on both sides, and end in disappointment.
Although I am open to listening to what someone wants or needs from me in a relationship, I won't become someone else FOR someone else. I won't, because I value who I am. If my beau of the day tries to change me...yikes!
The thing is, no one can give you confidence if you don't have it in you.
So these relationships always end badly.
Trying to change someone else always backfires. When a person is pushed by another to do (or be) something that they wouldn't do (or be) genuinely, any change in their behavior comes into question. You can never be sure that that person has "changed" of their own volition, or because they were pushed into it. So trust is out the window. And trust seems to be core to any lasting relationship.
Again, I'm not saying that people shouldn't ask another to treat them well or to do things that consider their feelings. I'm saying that when the actions of one person becomes a measure for another's self-value, the relationship becomes a game. Any choices made within this dynamic are not authentic or trustworthy.
For myself, I cannot be in the company of those who are going to try to change me. Nor can I be with a man who wants to own me. Or connect with someone who is threatened by the fact that I rule my life.
Attempts of others to push me in directions that are not authentic to me, will end up pushing me away.
A most beautiful friend sent this to me in an email and I felt that it was worth sharing because sometimes we just need to be reminded!
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air
"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way."
"We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special- Don't EVER forget it."
You may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring.
Count your blessings, not your problems.
Remember, the value of you never decreases!
