I've been getting a lot of feedback on my campaign and it seems that the time has come for me to do an all revealing interview in order to gain more support of those who don't really know what I'm all about. So I've agreed to let Barbara Walters interview me in an exclusive piece that will never be aired. I agreed to this as long as she agreed not to make me cry. ;)
Now you're getting a look at the secret transcripts of the interview that is only available here at Red's World.
BW: What made you decide to run for President, Red?
Red: Well, I think that our country is in need of someone who can take charge of the great need of our people to have a good time. In politics we often forget the value of joy. So I'm here to put the fun back into the
presidency and our precious country.
BW: How do you propose to do that?
Red: My goal is to give everyone something interesting to focus on. Like sex-scandal and drug abuse. These seem to be the most important issues of our nation. This is evidenced by how much time we (as a nation) spend talking and reporting on those matters as opposed to other "political issues".
I wanted to get in on that action. I'm willing to put myself out there for our nation and draw the most international attention through my provocative behavior.
BW: How will that help our country?
Red: Well, it will bring into focus what is truly important in everyone's life: FUN!
And, of course it would make me the center of attention!
BW: Indeed, and how will you accomplish this?
Red: Honestly, I plan to sleep my way to the top.
BW: And how do you plan to get support of the voters?
Red: Just by being myself. I don't think the country needs a lot of pushing to spend millions of dollars on gossip and scandal. That topic is always the first to be covered no matter who your talking about...take Britney Spears for example, no one is really interested in the music she's creating. It's much more FUN to talk about how she smokes cigarettes with her small child or gives the world beaver shots when getting out of a car.
And as far as political figures, what gets more play? What they do in their bedroom and what drugs they take or how well suited they are for the office they hold? We all know the answer to those questions.
How a political figure handles a national crises is an after thought when voting, we'd rather know how much fun they are having.
BW: Why do you think that is?
Red: The American people are more interested in the FUN stuff. People need to trust their leaders. Who trusts, and further more respects, anyone who hasn't been involved in "sex, drugs and rock & roll"?
I give the people what they want. The People want FUN! And
they get great pleasure from knowing that their leaders are well versed
in FUN too.
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And, remember to write my name in on the ballot in November so I can be your next President.
Kisses,
Red
