red's world

Something Special for Someone Special

Jason Nabeta, who left us 8 years ago (on June 11th, 2000), will alway be remembered and will live on forever in our special memoriies and imaginations.

Here's to you Jason!!

Kisses, Red

It's Never Over. . .

Everyday I see Jason,
exactly like this.

Now, he never changes;
he never ages;
but most importantly,
he never leaves me. . .

even given the fact that
he left this world behind
(far, far too soon)
on June 11, 2000.

It is with great tenderness that I think of him and wish with all my heart he was not just a memory in my everyday experience of life.

At times I feel him near -- but no matter how I try -- I cannot hold and touch and laugh with him still. . .

I miss that.

Far Far Away

I can't even begin to explain what has happened over the past 2 weeks; what I've had to do and how I've lost track of all things I was focused on in my life. That life is far far away right now.

Listing the tragedies and triumphs I've been through would not do justice to the intensity of my experience. Nor would such a list help you to understand. And I fear, it would ultimately distract from the point of this piece.

That point being:  Life, sometimes, is a ride we just have to go with when it pulls us along. And as much as we determine our destiny (and I truly believe that we do); we are powerless over life lessons that are sometime thrust upon us. 

It's what we do with these lessons -- how we manage the wreckage in the face of a tragedy -- that determines who we are, our outlook on life, and our destiny.

What I've found is that while those people outside the turmoil think that pity or sorry is in order; those that are inside often find themselves getting caught up in reassuring the outsiders that things are alright.
            And things are not alright.
                                      Yet, truthfully, they are all right.

The realities of life's paradoxes become crystal clear when one is in the mist of dealing with tremendous loss or shock. This little miracle of living completely in the contradictions of impossibilities is what I call an unexpected gem (and really weird). It's unexplainable.

With each crisis comes a challenge or several, I'll only share a handful that seem important to me at this moment:

1. One is to stay true to who you are as life throws you for a loop (or several loops at a time.)
2. Two is to stay close to those you love, who love and 'get' you.
3. Three is to love all those around you who try to support (as best they can -- many times not knowing how to.) So . . .
4. Four is to remember there is no map (for either the insiders or the outsiders) for dealing with events filled with turmoil or the inherent paradoxes, so be gentle.
5. And Five is to honor each taxing situation for what it is and/or who they are/were.

I know that some of this post may seem vague or hazy but at times -- so is destiny.

BTW, the image used is an electronic painting by Dr. Sabin-Corneliu Buraga called Warm Destiny