red's world

Living on the Edge

I live on the edge of my emotions.

Some people say I'm too emotional because I don’t run from my feelings; I cry out loud (without reservation) and I laugh hard (even when others think it’s wrong). Maybe some people think I’m crazy. And in a way I am (in the good way).

But the only way I know how to be, is to be honest with myself and with others about what I’m experiencing. And my experiences are rich with feeling. Otherwise, I figure, what’s the point?

Why pretend that we are not emotional beings or say that we can control our feelings when really -- Why should we? They are what makes us human, and real, and exciting.

It's living on the edge.

Now listen, I’m not saying to sit and wallow, or be a psycho. I’m saying that it’s emotions that make life full; that paying attention to them, experiencing them, and expressing them is what give life it’s meaning.

How boring life would be without passion. And passion is emotions with the volume turned up -- isn't it?

That’s why we like movies, because they make us feel something! And, whether we admit it or not, that’s what we want -- to be touched in someway -- to be moved.

So, I’m not afraid to acknowledge and express my feelings. I do it freely and openly. I find that when I don’t, I don’t feel good.

To ignore what’s going on with me is untrue; it robs me (and others) of fully experiencing who I am -- And that doesn't work for me. So, you won't find me there. I'll be where a passion for life is celebrated. I'll be living on the edge of my emotions.

So I invite you too. Come on over to the edge

. . .it's a beautiful view.

Don't get Mad, get Real!

When I try to temper my temper when I have sharp feelings, I find that my fury only festers. It grows cold, and becomes a wall between me and someone else.

Anger is bright -- hot and present. When I pretend that I don't feel it (because, for whatever reason, it's the emotion we feel we need to justify in order to have), I become resentful and tired.

It take a lot of effort to contain that kind of energy.

What's up with our need to justify anger, anyway? We never feel that we have to substantiate our feelings of joy or glee. We just feel them and express them. And that's good. When we do the same with anger . . . that's "drama"!!

I find that if I'm honest when I'm mad; if I say what I feel in the moment, then I'm upfront and there's no guessing games. I'm direct, assertive, sometimes aggressive (and most definitely dramatic) when I express my anger truthfully. . . but not really mean.            

I get mean when I hold it in; then the anger comes out "sideways" (not clearly communicated and often misdirected). That's useless and hurtful. I don't like that. When my anger is convoluted by lack of expression, I get confused. I become more concerned about trying to "control" my anger than getting the information I could acquire from experiencing and candidly expressing it.

Plus, this "controlling" effort takes me out of the moment and drains me.

I personally think we'd all do better to treat every emotion equitably; with respect, value and eloquent expression. . . even (especially) anger.

I've noticed that if I pay attention to what I feel, there is always wisdom in my madness. 

Feel Your Way

I feel my way through life and love. And, because I don’t censor it or mute the experience, I feel deep sorrow and great joy. This is what makes my life so abounding and my journey so exciting.

It’s truly an adventure when you just move forward without a map and simply see where the life takes you. And if I really pay attention to all the lessons of my heart, being the emotional person that I am, I will get closer and closer to that wonder I seek and I will never miss a moment of my life.

It’s exhausting to experience life and love fully and it’s much more work than just settling for less. But I’m driven to have it all. I believe I can -- in all areas of life.

Feelings are passion and life is a passionate experience if you really let yourself live it. It means that when I’m afraid I cannot turn away or crawl into a hole to hide. It means I have to keep going, believing and striving to be honest, authentic and direct in all my interactions with myself and with others.

I get my information from my emotions. When I don’t feel right I’m not living truly by my code: "Be Honesty, Authentic and Direct."

There will be no compromising. I will continue to feel my way in this "rational" world.

I am determined.