red's world

I heart America and I love the gays! (11/15/08)

So I had to sing a song...

Here I am standing with the Gays for equality, love and the right to be who you are without limits.

Dreams

A very wise person said to me the other day:
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true."

It inspired me to write my life story as a Lifetime movie...but that will come later. So for now I'll just write a little about Dreams. How important they are and how they are the center of my life.

Like Madonna, only on a smaller scale (I'm petite after all), I've reinvented myself so I my dreams are reality. 

I don't just have them in my head, or just talk about them, or just wish for them. I've arranged my life to live them; to be able to do what I truly love with my time. But, I had to be willing to make some choices and to change the way I looked at opportunity. And the result is a magical world in which anything is possible, no matter how outrageous it seems.

I'm an entertainer so much of my life is filled with impossible odds to overcome to be a success. But effort is never wasted when you're being creative, your success is not measured by anything besides the pure joy it gives you!

I put two ideas in my head at the beginning of my life transition from a "regular life" to an extraordinary life:

1. "If I don't try, I'll regret it - even if I fail - because I'll always wonder, and I'll always have an unfulfilled dream that I ignored" (Dreams should not be ignored - they are the lifeblood of happiness).


2. "I may not be the most talented, and I may not be the prettiest, but I have stick-to-it-ness. So I'll be around when all the competition has given up or gone on to settle down" (because that's what usually happens when people work in the arts - I just did it the opposite direction).

I'd already had a very successful "regular life", and it was really great, but not really my dream life. Yet, from that life, I gained so much wisdom and experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

As I took steps to change my life, I knew in my core that I'd had great success. And I knew when I packed my bags and left my life behind --no matter what happened-- NO ONE could take that success away from me. It would always be an integrated part of my life and who I am.

I had nothing to lose by trying. I could always confidently go back to a "regular life" if I wanted to. But because of my outlook, I've never had to.

I've come to the unquestionable knowledge, that I'll always be able to not only survive -- but thrive -- creatively, financially and experiencially - in a world in which I really fit. And all because I risked everything and changed every aspect of my life to TRY to make my dreams come true.

I’ve learned that I only have right now to enjoy my life, so why not do what I want, even if it seems impossible.

The only one who will be disappointed if I don’t, will be me.

And I simply cannot live with that!

Girls should be Girls

Ok so let’s talk frankly.
With all due respect for feminists and women’s rights and the girls that got us where we are...we must not forget that we women are special and different from men. Thank God!!

Men and women are creatures with distinctive gender qualities and qualifications. We should not dismiss this fact. By recognizing this truth, our relationships with each other are so much more poignant, powerful, adventurous and fun.

So let’s identify the differences and celebrate them with each other.*

Not to overstate the obvious but, men are made differently than women; physically and emotionally. So the rules differ when it comes to who does what, where, and to whom. I believe it's best respect these variations between the sexes, not ignore them. It makes it less confusing when we hook-up.

Women are girls and like girlie things - we are feminine - and that’s a beautiful thing. Men are boys, so they are masculine. For example, that's why we have more men in the army fighting than women, it’s just not lady like to pull out a gun. We can do it, but it’s generally not considered a feminine quality. Plus, lets face it girls, we’re not generally as physically strong as our male counterpart, so our gender is not as well suited for such a physically demanding job. Besides, it’s hard to look pretty when you’re rolling around in the dirt (but it can be sexy).

This is not a slight against women, it is a fact. Women are slighter than men, in fact. So why fight that? Let the boys go play war, while we stay home and make ourselves pretty. Nothing wrong with that!**

 It's important that we respect the sex differences so our dates can be more fun!

So, please, don't ignore your gender's protocol:
Come on Ladies, go a head and wear frilly tight girl fashions; call yourself by your rightful pronoun; and use your feminine prowess to flirt and be sexy.
And if you’re a man – be a man, get our your wallet and pay for the woman; always take care of her first; and compliment her on her beauty.

Let girls be girls, it’s only right.

___________________________________________________
*DISCLAIMER: I'm not promoting war here. (Just giving an example for clarification)

**A SiDE NOTE: Different doesn’t mean unfair, as has often been the case between men and women in the workplace. It’s true that men and women can be hired for the same job and be paid on a different scale. Obviously, that’s not right. It’s the job that is being paid for, not their gender. If the job is the same and not gender-specific; the pay should be the same no matter who is hired. I’m not arguing that. I do not believe that anyone should have to negate the inherent difference between the sexes to be treated fairly in the work place.

I'll be the Judge

I am the Judge in my life. I encourage you to be the Judge in yours.

We live in a world, full of Judges, ready to judge what you do, who you do/bed, what you wear and what you believe -- before they stop to notice how you treat them.

I refuse to judge people base on the superficial things like, who they are, what they think or how they live. That's all just noise to me, and often not really an indication of their value as a human being. It's more an indication of the choices they've made. And even if their choices are different than mine (which is often the case, because I live outside the limits of social norms), I still don't judge them based on that.

For example, I don't judge people for believing in God as being weak for giving some mythical figure credit for what they themselves created in their own lives (well, maybe I do a little). I simply consider that, for some reason, they need to have a framework that explains the unexplainable in order to feel safe and in control.

But, more to the point, I don't feel compelled to make them change their beliefs because they differ from mine, like religious people often try to change the beliefs of those who don't believe in God. I only feel compelled to judge them if their belief in God and Church result in mistreating others (specifically me), which it often does...unfortunately.

If their religious leanings doesn't affect me, I say "whatever works for them" is of no concern to me. So it's not what they believe, but how they treat me that is important and what I base my judgments on.

So, I will not make a value judgment on what you do (how you live your life, what choices you make, what goes on in your bed, what goes on in your head, what you look like, how you dress, who you choose to look-up to, who you choose to hook-up with, who you hang out with, what you think about things in the world, how much money you make or how you spend it, or if you own a car). I may have opinions on these things and I may disagree with you on some -- but I won't judge you based on that.

But I will judge you for how you treat me.

I don't even care so much how you treat others. I mean, who am I to say that how you treat someone else isn't justified or that it's wrong? That's between you and someone else, and for all I know, it may be the best way for you to relate to that person, even if I wouldn't like it if you treated me the way you treat them.

To me the true judge of character is not based on the values you hold or what moral beliefs you have – but how you treat me! Those I choose to have in my life treat me with respect, loyalty and importance.

Judge for yourself.

Challangeing the PC Police

Dear PC Police:

I’m wondering why so many women insist on using the male gender term to identify their career as a performer? Stating that “Actor” is the PC term because it’s supposedly not gender-specific.

But that's not true. "Actor" has always meant a male who acts and the female version is "Actress". So why, if we’re going to go “sexless”, do we go with the male term and not the female?

I personally refer to myself as an Actress, because I’m a girl (and I think that’s an important quality of my product – which is me). Don’t insult me by calling me a boy.

So I now insist, that weather you’re a boy or a girl, the correct PC term for a performer in film, TV and stage is "Actress" for anyone who acts.

Thank you,
Red

P.S. This new development holds true across the PC board. It's  now PC to use words such as: waitress, seamstress, doctress, stewardess, maid, mistress, songstress and any other term to describe all persons (male and female) in each respective business instead using the previously favored masculine term.

People have a lot of Rules

Everyone thinks they know how people should live and try to impose that on others. I’ve done it myself but that is not my goal here, or in life.

I believe my way of life is the best because it works for me. I think that others might be happier if they took heed of my valuable words of wisdom. But I don’t really matter. I just think the principles I live by make for a full experience of the world in which I live. And isn’t that what life’s about?

I probably drink a little too much – I smoke, I cuss and I have plenty of sex.  I’m a free spirit; fun loving and I share myself without reservation. I have a lot of love to give and there’s plenty to go around.

I try not to limit myself by constraints that are placed upon me by the views of others or the expectations of the world. And I try not to limit others.

I believe anything. ANYTHING is possible and I live accordingly.

These are my rules:

Be true.

That’s it. Just true.

Oh yeah, and have fun.

Just Eat it

Don't restrict your food intake: let your body decide.

I believe this for 2 very important reasons:

1. Who's happy when they feel limited?
2. It's not fun to focus on something as mundane as food intake.

Besides, we all know what we like, so just eat it.

When you have a craving for a certain food it's because that's what your body needs at that time. Trust it. Because if you have a craving and you don't fulfill it, you’ll suck down everything else and still not be satisfied. You know what I'm talking about!

Limiting your food consumption based on some ideas that someone else has about what's the best way to eat can be dangerous. Restricting your consumption often triggers feelings of deprivation which many over compensate for by eating even more.

There are 2 ways we are told to restrict our food intake: by portion or by type of food (e.g."don't eat fat") or both. I find that if we don't restrict what we eat then the portions take care of themselves.

Our bodies tell us what and how much we need. If we hold back on our food intake and don't eat enough sustenance to fuel our body, we'll crave highly caloric items - because our body is still hungry and is afraid it's starving. It's our body's way of taking care or itself. We all know when we are full. So stop eating when you are -- even if there is food left on the plate. Simple.

Or on other point, if we don't eat what we want when we want it, we'll try to satisfy that craving with other foods and find we eat far more that we intended because the body's craving is not satiated.

Having a piece of chocolate is much better for you than eating 15 helpings of fruit (if for no other reason, then you can stop focusing on the food craving and move on with your daily life)

If you pay attention to your body, you'll have the exact physical body you should.

So...just eat it!

I don't know anything

The truth is, I may not know a lot about things of importance, like world history or the latest trends (although I try to keep up). But I do know people and I know myself.

I trust myself and I know what it is to love and to have a passion for something. I know what it is to live truly and to appreciate each moment.

These are the things I want to share with you -- all the time!

I profess great words of wisdom like; "I will not let my life be ruled by fear" or "I will not allow my decisions to be determined by my financial situation" (which is the same thing – but not exactly). And I believe that living fearlessly is the best way to be free in life.  I think everyone can benefit from this outlook although many won't take heed or will be to driven by other things to see how they get in their own way.

This is not to say that there haven't been times when I've allowed fear or other factors to determine my behavior, choices, censor my communications, and even change my hairstyle. But restricting myself has never really worked for me.

So, I do my best to live in a way that doesn't steal my focus from my present experience. And I do this by making the decision to do so.

All it takes is to recognize that the only one limiting my life, myself and my desires. . . is me.

Wait a Minute

Do you ever feel like you spend a large amount of your life waiting?
Waiting for the train, waiting for the weekend, waiting for right time. . .waiting for life to begin.

Well, stop waiting! If you don't than you look back on your life and feel like you missed it. Remember life is happening right now. In front of you, beside, behind you. . .
All around you.

Join in!

I recently found myself looking forward to spending time with a particular person and found that much of my day (though busy with activities and fun, productive tasks) was spent daydreaming about the time we'd get to spend together once the day was over. And when all the waiting was for naught -- because at the end of the day, the day was over. And we didn't get together -- I felt desperately let-down.

But it made me think about what I would be doing with my creative energy if I wasn't just waiting. I'm not a waiter (I don't serve you food) and it's generally in my nature to take an active role in determining where I want my life to go. And take the necessary steps to make things happen. 

While I was waiting, I realized that I had been letting life live me, instead of deliberately living my life.

I'm not saying we shouldn't day dream - greatness comes from imagination, dreams and visions - I'm just saying don't miss the opportunity to move your life forward. You don't want to be left behind because you're waiting for something better. Use those daydreams to make each moment a magical experience.

Although there are times it's restful to simply let life take it's course, resting for long creates lethargy and a feeling of being trapped. It makes us forget that we have the power, the control to determine every detail of our lives.

So, remember you're in charge of your life direction. You can have and do anything you put your mind to. If you don't believe me than try what I do and see if I'm wrong. . .

Stop waiting and live a deliberate life.

Hungry?

Should we eat less fat or less carbs? It all depends on who you listen to and I'm telling you to listen to yourself and trust your own body. Most people I talk to don't to do this, but it's really pretty simple.

You have to admit in our obsessive, overweight American way, there is too much talk about overeating, eating-right and having a healthy diet. From Atkins (who died a very unhappy - fat man) to Super size Me (which blames fast food for our country's fatso's) everyone thinks they know what is the healthiest diet for everybody (or every body).

Who's to say what's good and bad for your body to consume? I think you are.

But people want answers, so they look to the experts instead of within themselves. And many diet "experts" have made millions boxing everyone into one diet plan. They make general statements about what specific foods bad for all, while not looking at each individual's nutritional needs.

In reality, everyone is different and everyone's body processes food differently.

I’m on the high fat, high sodium diet. I eat fast food, fried food, processed food, men and beer, and I weigh 98 lbs. oh, and I always eat dessert first. . . It's what my body needs to be healthy.

When I tell people this they say, get your cholesterol and blood pressure checked. I did and my Dr. said: "It's beautiful, you're clearly eating what you should." I'm a high energy person who is healthy, happy and I'm freakishly strong.

Try my diet plan: eat what you want, when you want.