When I try to temper my temper when I have sharp feelings, I find that my fury only festers. It grows cold, and becomes a wall between me and someone else.

Anger is bright -- hot and present. When I pretend that I don't feel it (because, for whatever reason, it's the emotion we feel we need to justify in order to have), I become resentful and tired.

It take a lot of effort to contain that kind of energy.

What's up with our need to justify anger, anyway? We never feel that we have to substantiate our feelings of joy or glee. We just feel them and express them. And that's good. When we do the same with anger . . . that's "drama"!!

I find that if I'm honest when I'm mad; if I say what I feel in the moment, then I'm upfront and there's no guessing games. I'm direct, assertive, sometimes aggressive (and most definitely dramatic) when I express my anger truthfully. . . but not really mean.            

I get mean when I hold it in; then the anger comes out "sideways" (not clearly communicated and often misdirected). That's useless and hurtful. I don't like that. When my anger is convoluted by lack of expression, I get confused. I become more concerned about trying to "control" my anger than getting the information I could acquire from experiencing and candidly expressing it.

Plus, this "controlling" effort takes me out of the moment and drains me.

I personally think we'd all do better to treat every emotion equitably; with respect, value and eloquent expression. . . even (especially) anger.

I've noticed that if I pay attention to what I feel, there is always wisdom in my madness.