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March 2007

Only NOW can I Live

Onemoment_3 The only way I know how to do it is to live now, in each moment. This moment is all we have – literally. There is no other.

I’m not saying I have no memories of previous events or hopes for the future. I even have worries sometimes, believe it or not. . . but I know that at the end of the day, my life is one moment long and if I’m true in that moment I’ll have no regrets and the memories will be magic.

I have had (and will continue to have) a fascinating life. As a matter of fact . . . I’m having a fascinating life right now.

Let's Dance: It's the Bloggers Ball

Bloggersball_3Everyday, people ask me what I'm going to do for fun, because I have such an exciting life. And this past Friday was a thrill!

'Virtually' the best time ever, I spent time partying for real with other bloggers.

That's right, I had the honor of being invited to the Bloggers Ball. Never heard of it? Well, check this out: The Divine CK, the hostess with the mostest (she also hosts a fantastic book club) set up a gathering in NYC for Bloggers from across America to meet, hang out, talk, eat, drink and learn new things.

Pictured here we see the divine CK, the amazing David Reich, the hot Mark Goren, the beautiful Valeria Maltoni, the sweet Matt Dickman and, of course, me (wearing the stunning jewelry from  the accessory queen  Lori Magno). Also in attendance were these other cool bloggers:  David Berkowitz, Marianne RichmondMegan Garnhum, Toby Bloomberg, Lori Magno, Elana Centor, C.B., Whittemore, Fard Johnmar, and the Blog Squad Patsi Krakoff and Denise Wakeman. I certainly can't forget my great new friend, Alex Geana who I had a gay old time with. 

Matt Dickman twittered all night while he filled our bellies with sake, David Reich practiced his new texting skills and Marianne Richmond promised to stayed up all night so she wouldn't over-sleep and miss her flight.Dancers_silhouette_5


The interesting thing about the Bloggers Ball was that, technically, there was no dancing. 

Maybe next time!

Live Fearless and Freely

Kaede03 Sometimes I listen to myself and I sound so altruistic, idealistic, and optimistic. But I’m really not. I think I’m realistic, although many would dispute me on that. I think I'm realistic because I believe that anything and everything is possible.

I can have it all.  I don’t need to compromise, or settle, or make due. Settling only causes resentments and regrets. And I like to live my life regret-free.

This takes more courage than you might think.

It means being willing to be open to anything and to be ready to let go of it at the same time. It takes trust in your own resilience and a good helping of fearlessness. . . qualities I believe that we all have.

Living on the Edge

Feelings1 I live on the edge of my emotions.

Some people say I'm too emotional because I don’t run from my feelings; I cry out loud (without reservation) and I laugh hard (even when others think it’s wrong). Maybe some people think I’m crazy. And in a way I am (in the good way).

But the only way I know how to be, is to be honest with myself and with others about what I’m experiencing. And my experiences are rich with feeling. Otherwise, I figure, what’s the point?

Why pretend that we are not emotional beings or say that we can control our feelings when really -- Why should we? They are what makes us human, and real, and exciting.

It's living on the edge.

Now listen, I’m not saying to sit and wallow, or be a psycho. I’m saying that it’s emotions that make life full; that paying attention to them, experiencing them, and expressing them is what give life it’s meaning.

How boring life would be without passion. And passion is emotions with the volume turned up -- isn't it?

That’s why we like movies, because they make us feel something! And, whether we admit it or not, that’s what we want -- to be touched in someway -- to be moved.

So, I’m not afraid to acknowledge and express my feelings. I do it freely and openly. I find that when I don’t, I don’t feel good.

To ignore what’s going on with me is untrue; it robs me (and others) of fully experiencing who I am -- And that doesn't work for me. So, you won't find me there. I'll be where a passion for life is celebrated. I'll be living on the edge of my emotions.


So I invite you too. Come on over to the edge

. . .it's a beautiful view.

Don't get Mad, get Real!

AngryWhen I try to temper my temper when I have sharp feelings, I find that my fury only festers. It grows cold, and becomes a wall between me and someone else.

Anger is bright -- hot and present. When I pretend that I don't feel it (because, for whatever reason, it's the emotion we feel we need to justify in order to have), I become resentful and tired.

It take a lot of effort to contain that kind of energy.

What's up with our need to justify anger, anyway? We never feel that we have to substantiate our feelings of joy or glee. We just feel them and express them. And that's good. When we do the same with anger . . . that's "drama"!!

I find that if I'm honest when I'm mad; if I say what I feel in the moment, then I'm upfront and there's no guessing games. I'm direct, assertive, sometimes aggressive (and most definitely dramatic) when I express my anger truthfully. . . but not really mean.            

I get mean when I hold it in; then the anger comes out "sideways" (not clearly communicated and often misdirected). That's useless and hurtful. I don't like that. When my anger is convoluted by lack of expression, I get confused. I become more concerned about trying to "control" my anger than getting the information I could acquire from experiencing and candidly expressing it.

Plus, this "controlling" effort takes me out of the moment and drains me.

I personally think we'd all do better to treat every emotion equitably; with respect, value and eloquent expression. . . even (especially) anger.

I've noticed that if I pay attention to what I feel, there is always wisdom in my madness.