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July 2011

To those we've lost...

Jason NabetaEleven years ago,on June 11th, Jason Nabeta - my love and my best friend - left this world. My life has never been the same sense. He filled me and my world with such joy, humor and delight that when he suddenly wasn't there anymore the emptiness was overwhelming and incomprehensible.

For years I still saw him out of the corner of my eye, heard his laughter ring in my ears and felt his wisdom guide me when I struggled with life dilemmas. Even when he wasn't here to hold my hand through the tough times, he's alway had a way of putting things in perspective for me.

The last time I saw him, Jason proposed to me over a burger dinner he cooked for me in his New York apartment...I said yes. And when I didn't hear back from the email I sent him telling him that he could buy a cheap engagement ring at Walmart. I figured he was busy. I'll always wonder if he even got that email.

I'll never forget when my roomate called me where I was at summer stock to tell me he was gone. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't think, I couldn't speak. And from that moment on, I've wished for just five more minutes with him to tell him all that I didn't say.

Now, I can no longer hold him, feel his breath, dance with him or listen to his voice the way I did. Yet, he's always with me. When I get afriad, I think of him and I feel his strength. I hear his laughter. I see his light...

I'm so lucky to have had such a wonder in my world that the loss is so deep. I'll never forget you Jason. I love you. 

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