Lessons for Limitless Living

Stand Up and be a Woman (Feminine Feminism)

AS023B&G-l Pink and Blue are colors assigned to each sex for identification. Yellow is considered non-sex specific. And I believe that these color work as an accurate metaphor for our beautiful gender differences.

Remember, the poem:

"What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of!"
What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

Blue is masculine, pink is feminine. We all know this, so why do women think they have to be more “Blue” to get fair treatment.

Too many times, women take on masculine traits, and use “non-gender specific” words to describe themselves, in order to lessen the differences between the sexes. Stop it, GIRLS!

When we do this, we disregard the special insights and qualities we have solely because we are females.

By doing this we women are subscribing to the myth that men are more valuable than women. Instead of recognize our natural gifts and value as women.  And it only perpetuates the silly idea that men have more value than women; which, incidentally is a most chauvinistic stance.

Ladies, please, stop adding credence to a long history of societal double standard of valuing men over women; stop devaluing - being female.

Women…let’s not forget that we are feminine by nature. Just like the girls in the poem. Knowing and celebrating this makes us more powerful than...well, just more powerful.

We women are raised to be more malleable so we're more able to adjust to things. But adjusting does not mean we forgo our women-ness to get recognition or to be “treated fairly."  Are we treating ourselves fairly then? Are we really getting what we want? Aren’t we becoming something else and therefore, not being true? Freedom_from_habits_2 So, don’t try to be a man, if you’re a woman!

If we stayed true to our feminine ways, and all the girlie things that are inherent to being female, then (and only then) do we value who and what we are.

Be a woman – proudly and loudly. We’re more commanding as women, than as androgynous creatures, trust me! 

Treat yourselves (and the rest of us girls) with respect:

DON’T try to lessen the gender difference. Exaggerate it!
Men will appreciate us more if we do!!
And so will we!

So come on Ladies, "Stand up and be a Woman!"

New Year: new adventures

So, it's nearing the end of this year. In fact, there are only a few hours left. It's that time of year that we stop and think about where we've been, where we're at now and what's to come.

As 2009 draws near, I thought we should take a moment to celebrate the accomplishments of 2008. In this past year, I Danced With the Oscar Stars, Ran for the President of the United States of America, and Marched with the Gays. But there were many other moments that I never had an opportunity to document or share that got me thinking about how different my life is today, than I ever imagined it would be.

I've been fortunate (beyond fortunate) and as I think about it, I'm not sure if it's because life handed me a multitude of opportunities, or if it's because I've always had my eyes wide open and I saw an opportunity in every experience. Perhaps it's both or perhaps it’s something that I’m completely unaware of. And perhaps doesn't matter why. I just know that I'm lucky. Lucky to have people that love me, lucky to not have worries that distract me from this moment and lucky to believe (because experience has proven it so) anything is possible.

So now, as I think of what the next year has for me, I’m at a complete loss. I have no idea what tomorrow or next month or next year will bring. And I’m glad of it! Because that leaves a world of infinite possibilities at my doorstep. Even when I don’t see them, they are there.

This year, this day, this moment, my hope is to keep my eyes open to the ever-present adventure of life and, of course, to have fun.

May this year bring you magic.
Happy New Year!

I heart America and I love the gays! (11/15/08)

So I had to sing a song...
Here I am standing with the Gays for equality, love and the right to be who you are without limits.


A very wise person said to me the other day:
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true."

It inspired me to write my life story as a Lifetime movie...but that will come later. So for now I'll just write a little about Dreams. How important they are and how they are the center of my life.

Like Madonna, only on a smaller scale (I'm petite after all), I've reinvented myself so I my dreams are reality. 

I don't just have them in my head, or just talk about them, or just wish for them. I've arranged my life to live them; to be able to do what I truly love with my time. But, I had to be willing to make some choices and to change the way I looked at opportunity. And the result is a magical world in which anything is possible, no matter how outrageous it seems.

I'm an entertainer so much of my life is filled with impossible odds to overcome to be a success. But effort is never wasted when you're being creative, your success is not measured by anything besides the pure joy it gives you!

I put two ideas in my head at the beginning of my life transition from a "regular life" to an extraordinary life:

    1. "If I don't try, I'll regret it - even if I fail - because I'll always wonder, and I'll always have an unfulfilled dream that I ignored" (Dreams should not be ignored - they are the lifeblood of happiness).
    2. "I may not be the most talented, and I may not be the prettiest, but I have stick-to-it-ness. So I'll be around when all the competition has given up or gone on to settle down" (because that's what usually happens when people work in the arts - I just did it the opposite direction).

I'd already had a very successful "regular life", and it was really great, but not really my dream life. Yet, from that life, I gained so much wisdom and experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

As I took steps to change my life, I knew in my core that I'd had great success. And I knew when I packed my bags and left my life behind --no matter what happened-- NO ONE could take that success away from me. It would always be an integrated part of my life and who I am.

I had nothing to lose by trying. I could always confidently go back to a "regular life" if I wanted to. But because of my outlook, I've never had to.

I've come to the unquestionable knowledge, that I'll always be able to not only survive -- but thrive -- creatively, financially and experientially - in a world in which I really fit. And all because I risked everything and changed every aspect of my life to TRY to make my dreams come true.

I’ve learned that I only have right now to enjoy my life, so why not do what I want, even if it seems impossible.

The only one who will be disappointed if I don’t, will be me.

And I simply cannot live with that!

A Reminder on Real VALUE

A most beautiful friend sent this to me in an email and I felt that it was worth sharing because sometimes we just need to be reminded!20_bill

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you  but first, let me do this.  He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. 

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"  Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"  And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.  He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. 


"Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.  It was still worth $20.  Many times in our lives,  we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way." 

"We feel as though we are worthless.  But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.  Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.  You are special- Don't EVER forget it."

You may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring. 

Count your blessings, not your problems.   

Remember, the value of you never decreases!

Wait a Minute

Do you ever feel like you spend a large amount of your life waiting?
Waiting for the train, waiting for the weekend, waiting for right time. . .waiting for life to begin.

Waiting_in_repose_with_texture_3 Well, stop waiting! If you don't than you look back on your life and feel like you missed it. Remember life is happening right now. In front of you, beside, behind you. . .
All around you.

Join in!

I recently found myself looking forward to spending time with a particular person and found that much of my day (though busy with activities and fun, productive tasks) was spent daydreaming about the time we'd get to spend together once the day was over. And when all the waiting was for naught -- because at the end of the day, the day was over. And we didn't get together -- I felt desperately let-down.

But it made me think about what I would be doing with my creative energy if I wasn't just waiting. I'm not a waiter (I don't serve you food) and it's generally in my nature to take an active role in determining where I want my life to go. And take the necessary steps to make things happen. 

While I was waiting, I realized that I had been letting life live me, instead of deliberately living my life.

I'm not saying we shouldn't day dream - greatness comes from imagination, dreams and visions - I'm just saying don't miss the opportunity to move your life forward. You don't want to be left behind because you're waiting for something better. Use those daydreams to make each moment a magical experience.

Although there are times it's restful to simply let life take it's course, resting for long creates lethargy and a feeling of being trapped. It makes us forget that we have the power, the control to determine every detail of our lives.1994e

So, remember you're in charge of your life direction. You can have and do anything you put your mind to. If you don't believe me than try what I do and see if I'm wrong. . .

Stop waiting and live a deliberate life.

Stop the Bullshit!

Bullshit If you don’t like it change it, or at least enjoy the discomfort.

No one is really a victim because we have the power to change everything with a look, a smile, a touch or a word.

Everything counts and yet nothing is counted against you.

I believe that each hardship I come across is a beautiful chance to experience another part of the human adventure and it often give me and opportunity to confirm what I already suspected. 

And if not  . . .  I can always use it in my work.

Relationship Math

Balancethumb_2 I don't know about you, but I start to feel encumbered when a man is more enamored with me than I am with him. And yet, there is something quite appealing about someone being smitten with you -- don't you think?

Even when your feelings aren't reciprocal, it's easy to be enticed by someone who finds you enchanting. But all too often it becomes -- well -- captivating. And I don't like feeling caged.

When I'm seduced by another's infatuation with me (because it make me feel so special), but I don't have the same intensity about them, I start feeling edgy. All too quickly -- it starts to feel like he wants to change me, and he does want me to change . . . my feelings towards him. I start to feel obligated to try to have special feelings, even if it's not true or even possible.

One thing I know for myself is that when I start to feel anxious in a relationship, it’s usually because I’m not being true to my own experience of that relationship.  This is a sign that it’s time to let it go. (I believe this principal holds true for all relationships -- not just romance.)

For me, it usually starts by making a list of all his great qualities - justifying why I'm still spending time with a guy who is clearly a mismatch for me. And as a result I find myself ignoring the here and now and missing my life. We all know how well that works. . .  it's a dead end. I've found that it's better to cut your losses, call it a day, and thank him for all the nice things he did and said.

When I try to balance the good against bad on the allegorical "relationship spreadsheet" - well, I always come up short. Because, as I'm doing this, I'm already not in it... I'm already gone.

I believe that relationships are a celebration of who we are with others. They should never be about changing the other person -- if they are then the relationship is with someone who doesn’t exist.

It all boils down to a simple equation, when you start weighing the pros and cons. . . it' time to go. If it was right and true you wouldn't be spending time doing the math, you'd be spending the time delighting in the wonder of the people you are together.Blackboard_math_2

So remember this formula: 

Pros x Cons = Goodbye.

Live Fearless and Freely

Kaede03 Sometimes I listen to myself and I sound so altruistic, idealistic, and optimistic. But I’m really not. I think I’m realistic, although many would dispute me on that. I think I'm realistic because I believe that anything and everything is possible.

I can have it all.  I don’t need to compromise, or settle, or make due. Settling only causes resentments and regrets. And I like to live my life regret-free.

This takes more courage than you might think.

It means being willing to be open to anything and to be ready to let go of it at the same time. It takes trust in your own resilience and a good helping of fearlessness. . . qualities I believe that we all have.

$pend your time and your money wi$ely.

Fastmoney Money. It comes and goes. We spend so much time worrying about where we'll get it and if we'll have enough and if we can afford it. What a waist of time and life!!

All too often I've seen people live for the Almighty Dollar. It rules their every decision and their state of mind. Most people are living in accordance with what they think they can't do, rather than what they want to do. Now, I'm not saying be stupid and run your credit cards up, and get into terrible debt, and feel overwhelmed with bills. I'm saying if you live as if you can't have anything - then you can't. Live in abundance and you'll have abundance.

Maybe I'm just lucky - or - as my accountant says, I'm a financial genius. Because, I don't really make a lot of money, but I live like I do. I travel when I want, I have what I want and I choose a career in the arts - I'm an Actress (live theatre being my true love) - where there is little opportunity to get rich. (Hence, the term starving artist.) But, if I took my financial situation into consideration, when making a career decision, I'd have never had the rich experience of living my dream and having a passion filled life. Yes, it's risky but I've found it to be well worth the risk.

In fact, I've taken financial risks - some have panned out some have not. I've invested in things I love and I've spent money on people I love, even when I really didn't have it for myself. And guess what? The rewards are endless. What I'm absolutely sure of is that I will always have enough money. Remember, it comes and goes. There is always more coming. Believe it.

Be smart with your money, yes, but don't be ruled by it when it comes to your life. If you think you can't afford to take my advise, you're wrong. Moneyrolls_2

To have a truly rich life, you can't afford not to.