Translating Breakup Speak: what it really means

Broken_heart.svg copy copyYesterday, in my post called The Breakup Talk we took a look at the most commonly used breakup lines. Today, let's look at the meaning behind the words. Though these simple phrases have been used by the dumper over and over again to end relationships in a way that creates a soft landing for the dumpee, they're not as kind as they may seem. Here is what he/she is really saying when he/she says:

"I love you, but I’m not in love you." Translates to: "I don't like you."

"It’s not you it me." = "It’s you!"

"I need space." ----- "Go away so my space can be filled with someone else."

"I don’t want a girlfriend." Means: "I want a different girlfriend"

"I can’t do this." = "You’re too scary."

"I want more." Means: "You're too poor."

"I can’t give you what you need." = "You’re too needy . . . go away."

"I’m married." ------- "I’m glad I’m not married to you."

"I’m not ready." Means: "I am ready to leave."

"You deserve better." ------ "You’re not good enough."

"I got issues . . . with you."

"There is no us . . . because I don’t want you."

"I’m still hung up on someone else." ------ "I want to hang up on you."

"I thought we were just having fun." ------- "I’m with a whole bunch of other people, you idiot!"

"I don’t want to hurt you . . . " ------ "It hurts to be with you."

"It’s over." = "I don’t want you under me."

Anyone who has dumped or been dumped by another knows these breakup lines are code for something else. It's a way to say what we mean and mean what we say without really saying it. I live by the STOP THE BULLSHIT philosophy so I think it's important to expose the code and reveal the truth behind Breakup Speak. 

Maybe we should simply: "Tell the truth . . . it's just easier."

Red's WorldBestRed SaysMeContact

SAG Strike Scare: What's going on?

News_logo SAG (Screen Actors Guild) may go on strike and everyone in the film and television industry is up in arms about it. SAG says that AMPTP (Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers) won’t give them fair terms on a new contract; and AMPTP says that SAG’s demands are unrealistic. Eveyone in the film/television industry including writers, directors, and crewmembers worry about weather they will have jobs to go to if things aren’t resolved for SAG.

To get you up to speed, here’s a quick overview of course of events that led up to the current SAG strike scare. I also suggest you go to the above links in the first paragraph, for more background.

SAG’s contract with AMPTP expired on July 1, 2008. And AMPTP made it’s last and final offer, with terms that were unacceptable, to SAG. Everyone was reluctant to consider a strike only a few months after the WGA’s strike ended.

Rather than calling for it’s members to vote for strike authorization at that time, SAG continued to work under the expired contract while SAG union leaders continued to try creative ways to keep the negotiations with AMPTP going; including getting a third party federal mediator. Still with no resolution in sight at the end of the mediation process, SAG announced that it would be sending out a strike referendum ballot to SAG members in December.

What this means is that if 75% of SAG voting members vote “Yes”, SAG will have the authorization to strike. It does not mean that SAG will, but it does mean that SAG can strike if no agreement is reached.

The contract is complicated so (to the best of my understanding) I’ve attempted to provide brief, simplified outlines of only 3 of many the issues that remain unresolved at this juncture:

    1. AMPTP wants SAG to eliminate force majeure protections from the contract. This protects Actors when production stops as the result of an “act of God” has been and is one of the most basic protections of a union contract, which has existed since the first SAG contract in 1937.


    1. DVDs: Residuals and benefits have not been improved for Actors for 22 years. Because in 1986 video was considered “experimental,” AMPTP only agreed to give Actors 1% of the revenue generated through Video (now DVD) sales with promises to review it once it became a valid vertical for film. DVD sales are currently the biggest revenue source for film/television products. Yet, AMPTA has never increased the Actors’ DVD residuals and benefits. And refuses to do so now.


  1. New Media: Over the past few years the use of Internet to watch movies and TV (weather on your computer or on your phone), has become another vital revenue source for these products. SAG wants to get paid and receive residuals for work in this medium.  AMPTP says that it’s still an “experiment,” so they want to keep Internet projects non-union and without residual compensation. AMPTP is ignoring that as technology had improved, how and where we watch our shows has changed. Clearly, this is an issue that SAG cannot ignore. It is not a potential medium for the film industry (as AMPTP argues) but a very current one.

An aside: New Media compensation was also an issue in the WGA (Writers Guild of America) negotiations, one that continues to be problematic. In fact on November 20, 2008, the WGA filed for arbitration against AMPTP for non-compliance with the terms of the contract. AMPTP is not making new media payment to writers or paying the agreed upon residuals for the on-line streaming of television shows.

Because I make my living in the film and television industry, these issues are near and dear to me. But beyond that, I believe that people should be treated fairly in the workplace and receive fair compensation for work performed. I have faith that these are values that most people share and would be willing to fight for. And, I believe that unions are there for a reason, to protect its members from being taken advantage of.

I believe that voting “YES” on the SAG strike authorization referendum will give SAG an advantage by creating a stronger base from which to approach AMPTP for a fair contract. For this, power in numbers count.

* BTW, I’ve invited AMPTP and SAG members and IA film crewmembers to join in the discussion here…let’s see who shows up.

I heart America and I love the gays! (11/15/08)

So I had to sing a song...
Here I am standing with the Gays for equality, love and the right to be who you are without limits.


Within the last 2 years, I became a Mac convert (100%, BTW) and have been extremely pleased, not only with the products, but with the exemplary customer service... until yesterday when AppleCare didn't seem to Care (sigh). Here's the deal:

After a call to AppleCare Tech Support. I received an email from Apple to fill out a 3d_apple_logo_102customer satisfaction survey:
The first question:
"Was your issue resolved?"
The answer (surprisingly):
A resounding "NO!"

I love Apple and have always been more than satisfied with the care with which they treat their customers. So I was shocked, to say the least, that my concern was not addressed at all. . . This is the polar opposite of the experience I had when I went to the Apple Store and talk to a Mac Genius,  Ryan, at The Genius Bar at the Fifth Avenue Store in NYC. He not only took extra time and special care to insure that he answered all my questions and concerns but did so with every other customer who came in during his shift. And he insured that all my concerns were addressed before he ended our session (I observed this same care by other Mac Geniuses with their customers as well.)

But, because it's not always convenient (quite often not) for me to drag my computer, my hard drive(s), cables etc. down to the Genius Bar AND I do have AppleCare coverage. I thought that my needs would be better served by calling Apple Tech Support. . . how wrong I was. I spoke with "Alex" who told me he was in the Philippines and had to repeatedly explain my issues for which I never got any help.

My issue was not resolved during the call because the AppleCare Tech Representative never answered my question before the call ABRUPTLY ended at 9pm EST (the exact moment when Apple Support hours stop). I felt that he should have completed the call -- even if that meant calling me back to insure that the issue was resolved before the call was considered finished. I'm very disappointed in Apple's customer support and appalled that Apple would allow their customers to be treated with such disregard.

My Question to you, APPLE, is: "Are you going to get back to me in order to resolve this issue?" I hope so, but I shouldn't -- nor do I have the time -- to wait and see.

So now -- at 4am -- because AppleCare telephone support so failed me, I'm packing up all my stuff up to drag down to the store to get the help I pay Apple to recieve in the convenience  of my own home.


I don't like that one bad experience is making my Apple SOUR. Suggestions?